So I found a job, and I hate it. I have my own place with a couple of roommates, but at least there's it's mine, literally all the bills amd everything is in my name, except the internet. But unfortunetly I stopped taking the pills, the where working for a while, then one day my depression over powered it and the pills might as well had been sugar. I'm still depressed, still lonely, still single and have gotten laid in a long enough time to remember the feeling of pussy. I feel almost no romantic connection aside from the occational wanting to be with somebody. I just feel that if I was with someone they'd get bored with me and leave me.
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I started that a few weeks ago, since then The Monster and I started back up it another relationship. Although I'm pretty sure she's gonna leave me for someone else before we're physically together.. it would only make sense... it's me after all. I do have romantic feelings and shit, but I feel like it's pointless if it's not going to work out. I want it too.. but I don't feel like she'll be happy with me.
Me and my emo shit, its beginning to get fucking retarded.. I wish I just killed myself when I was younger to save myself this stupid hollow life.
I've been using a tumblr for a bit. It bores the shit out of me. I wanna delete but it gives me something to do, like look at neat pipes and pictures of cats. Everything else on there kinda sucks, its not much better then this I suppose.
I'm depressed, haven't slepted since monday and its been about 36 hours since I last ate anything. I'm not hungry or tired by the slightest, but I'm gonna try to sleep after I post this. I have to work tonight.
Well that's all I can think about, and suicide, so I'm gonna call this a wrap and stare at my leaky bedroom ceiling until I fall asleep.
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