The Diary Of A RivitHead: Whats good?

 I haven't been posting much lately and I apologize for that. I've been going through the motions of my depression, it's been pretty bad for me lately, making me lazy and sick. If I was to post something it'd probably be poorly written and very scrambled. My plans on changing my life is still undergoing it's planing process. I will no longer be living in Seattle, I should be moving to Alaska in January. Hopefully there I can clear my head, find some work, and possibly be happy for once.

Things that have been worrying me:
- I have a dying uncle, he still has a few years left but that's only if he try's to keep himself healthy.
- I think my mother might back out on me and I wont be able to go to Alaska
- I cant take my cat with me until I find work in Alaska and can afford all the medical paperwork required for a cat to take a plane. I know my roommates would look after him but he's my cat and I hate being away from him.
- My Dad, I seriously don't understand whats going on with him. He's starting a new family and between that and his work it seems impossible to get a hold of him. But I am kinda glad he's happy, I guess.
- The idea of moving to Alaska is a bit scary, I don't know how I'd react to living there, I'm pretty sure everything will be different. I don't know if I'd be any more successful finding a job there then I am up here.
- My grandparents aren't getting along, it's really weird to see.
- I fear my aunt might be on the verge of a psychotic break down, with all the stress and sadness in her life, I don't know how she manages to smile.
- My over all health, I feel like there's something wrong and I cant do anything about it, I'm pretty sure its something bad though.
Mix all that up with my normal everyday depression, turns everything small into a big wad of stress.

But I feel as if I have better control over my emotions lately, there's been a few times where I'd say differently but for the most part I've been pretty level, maybe a bit dulled to my norm.

As for love or relationships, I've done nothing. I don't see the point in it anymore, at least not now. With the possibility of me moving theres no reason to. I don't really talk to people well, in person, so its hard to meet anyone. I'm pretty sure Alaska would be lonely.

When I arrive in Alaska I'll try to be more active on this blog, and I'll try finding something worth talking about, something less depressing. I cant guarantee how active I'll be from now until then, maybe even longer. I don't know what it'd be like up there. Maybe people will start reading this.