Diary Of A RivitHead: Summer.

I can feel it in my bones every time I breathe. A shallow nothing. As the sky stays bright, my days grow dimmer. My summer misery is starting to creep in sooner then it should be. Why must I suffer this loneliness when everyone else tends to smile. Its like I'm choking on air, like I'm spinning. I feel sadness and numbing at the same time. I feel anger with no motivation to unleash it. It hurts.

I'll still try to be me in front of others. I'll still try to smile no mater how unconvincing it is. I don't want people to know when I feel this bad. I'll suffer more when I'm alone, I know this. I've been here before. My attempts to rid myself of this piece of me, to free myself and be happy, and at times I thought I was cured. But given time the attempts where just tricks of the drugs. I've failed every time I tried to make myself happy. At times I think I've seen it at its worse, and I hope I don't see it again.