Oh the sweet bitter joys of watching myself fall into spiral. Meeting the same people with new faces, being in unfamiliar places but recognizing the areas which are duplicates of my past. I feel as though I'm stuck in purgatory and for some reason I remain tainted. I can no longer be sure of my emotions, I could feel happy but I can't seem to smile, I can feel sad and find it more appealing then being happy. I feel bored and alone even though I'm surrounded by people daily. I need something new in my life, something unexpected, something exciting, I want to run away. But why should I? I'd miss my friends, feel guilty, probably kill myself because how horrible I would feel for betraying everyone who's taken care of me and cared for me. My quest of freedom will always haunt me as a goal I could never reach. Once in my life I feel like I should stick around for awhile longer. I know it would lead to disappointment. I know I'll lose some friends and possibly some family, and I know I'll probably find myself in even worse of a position. But watching my life in this circle, as it falls like a spiral, as it repeats, I try to change what it is, give it form, make it structured, but instead I've only seem to somehow lose a few things that made it whole in the first place. I feel less then what I was, twice as empty, and I'm starting not to give a fuck.
... I could have killed my self before, now I just like to watch me suffer.
About Me
- Fuzzy Machine
- My name is Dion Williams (A.K.A. Fuzzy Machine). I find my self kindled by the fashion, music and life style of the average industrialist. I leaned onto this life style, just to give it a peak and I found my self being swallowed whole. I know this is where I belong. And I know this is where I'll stay. So that I am, amongst the many, just another RivitHead.
